I bought this because I liked a boy
The story of my young adulthood, in clothes
Hey,
So I did a closet clean out recently. As a (historically) emotional shopper with appalling impulse control; this exercise was more driven by a desire to reflect on my mental state over the past x-number of years than anything else.
Presenting to you, gentle reader, a visual archive of my neuroses… expressed quite accurately, though I was unaware at the time of purchase, in the way I have always chosen to express myself: clothes & words
Starting off strong with…
I BOUGHT THIS BECAUSE I LIKED A BOY
Article A -
He said he liked my long hair and thought I looked pretty in white; he said he loved spending time with me and back then, giddy and giggling, I forgot to ask why that time only seemed to be at night.
Item: Urban Outfitters sheer off-shoulder crop-top
Worn: Once on one date and he dumped me like a month later so - woops
Verdict: Out. Covers nothing tbh, still think it’s cute but decidedly impractical as the sleeve things ride up all the time and the whole thing just feels at all times dangerously at risk of falling apart. (I suppose that that was the point, back then)
Archive: Listening bracket at this time largely consisted of Frank Ocean, G-Eazy (girl… I was not okay), Drake’s ‘Doing It Wrong’ (GIRL I WAS NOT OKAY).
He was the devil incarnate a classic London finance bro (sans the blue eyes iykyk) and our little tryst began in the dark abysses of his den and natural habitat: the mayfair nightclub. More specifically, Tape London, which I hear is still open after all these years.
I hear ABBA’s ‘Angel Eyes’ when I think about the next generation of pretty, bright-eyed young things about to lock eyes across a sticky dance floor and for the first time together embark on the horror and art of a 3-month long situationship that ends in mutual blocking. All my love to you, baby boys and girls, it’s the trenches out there x
Article B -
I don’t think there was any boy involved at the point of this purchase but I was still in a relatively similar headspace as when I bought the white top in Article A. It was a very specific message.
Item: See-through black lace top
Worn: Twice?
Verdict: Keeping it. Still a great look and I am very attracted to myself in this top hahah
Archive: Don’t have anything in my journal at this time, probably recovering from the trauma of Article A boy
Article C -
We are fast forwarding 3 - 4 years now from the purchases in Articles A & B. I am now 21, maybe 22. Done a bit more growing, and seeing a new boy (my current partner) … I live in Bristol now, and a new (experimental) personality has emerged:
I’m a sk8r girl now, and I go indoor-bouldering, I listen to Led Zeppelin and Mac DeMarco. Mainstream music is out and pretty boys who play drums and guitar are in ! < 3 !
- sidebar: this is all actually a bit embarrassing for me to type out but also really funny and the truth :( laughing but also crying -
Item: Carhartt work trousers
Worn: Actually, used to wear them all the time. They are very comfy and durable
Verdict: Keeping it - once I put on the first piece of clothing that ‘sparked joy’, it became obvious what that felt like. Anything that inspired that little leg kick, I kept. It made me super happy to wear. That’s what our clothes should do for us.
Archive: Not me wearing my brand new patagonia t-shirt + carhartt pants to a carpark rooftop to learn how to fucking skateboard 😭😭😭
(i am beyond humiliation now, i have reached a point so far beyond shame, it is akin to enlightenment. Namaste)
This brings us to the end of my version of ‘To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before’, and into a different category of neurosis…
I BOUGHT THIS BECAUSE SOCIAL MEDIA
The white denim epidemic of 2019-21
Specifically, the ones Kendall Jenner (left) is wearing, the high-waist, straight legged, long-cut pair. I wish I had bought into a silhouette more like The Row’s (right), but I think what filtered down to social media from runways / showrooms veered more towards the fit Kendall is wearing. It’s the crop top + high waist thing that proliferated across us normies’ social media feeds
Articles D & E -
Items: (Left) & Other Stories white denim jeans, (Right) Nanushka mushroom leather straight-cut high-waist trousers
Worn: Once each. Felt meh both times
Verdict: Out. I don’t think this cut looks that great on me - and I hate the fabric piling in my crotch area. I often forgo other aspects like fit when I see something I really like, and end up throwing it out a couple months / years later because obviously it doesn’t fit right and doesnt look good
Archive: Just your average girl trying to fit in with her virtual world … and facing the financial peril of following a trend 🤷
I BOUGHT THIS AND IT STILL SPARKS JOY
A few items I have owned for years and years that still make me so happy !!!
taaa! 🦋 What story does your wardrobe tell?
On my mind
This essay by
; excerpt below…
Such a fun read hahaha it is really the items that fits us the best that gets the most wear! I had a phase of going to markets and just impulsively buying things cause they were an amazing “bargain” 😂😂
I saw the title and felt it in my bones